Eve and Jason Travel Oz: Linke's

Linke's Central Meat Store has been operating for generations. They run their smoke house 24 hours per day and the shop smells AMAZING. I mean, I was drooling as soon I stepped inside. I could feel my heart rate increase and I was giddy looking at the prizes awaiting me, just sitting behind the glass in their counter, each product seducing me, calling to me.... so much smokiness, so much meat; T-bones which are partially dry and mature; sausages of colour and shape and smell that can turn a vegan into a ravenous blood-lusting maniac; and the smoked meats... oh my, I will cry myself to sleep if I cannot take home some of these delicate translucent gems.

I start to drool. I start to laugh; a silly single-syllabubbed "ha!" and shake my head as I view what is in front of me. It's just me and the meat. No, it's just the meat. The rest of the world has faded into the distance. After a moment (during which my eyes start bulging), I sense Jase next to me, salivating and panting. We look at each other. We both laugh, that single-syllabubbed nonsense. "Umm..." we say, "We'll be back; we are on our way to Penfolds for some tastings... but don't go anywhere... we'll be back!"

And so we dash off to Penfolds and endulge in "the list" (you know, you start at the to and work your way down... and they have a BIG tasting menu), and on our way back we are chanting "Linke's Linke's Linke's", or maybe thats just in my head. I am giddy again. We need wine to take back to the caravan so we hop in to Elderton's, a deliciously boutiquey winery which produces right in the heart of town from some very beautiful old vines. A bottle of red in hand, now we are starting to jog, getting closer to Linke's, and I think we really are chanting now Linke's butcher Linke's butcher and I imagine that smell of sweet smoked meat and honey and spices and blood.

The butchers give us a smile, and smile to each other. They've seen this crazed look in their customers before, I'm sure.

So we start with sausages; beef of course, but also some fat pork snags, to be later boiled and served on mashed potato. Okay, that's the normal stuff done. "Streaky bacon!" exclaims Jase and the butcher even takes a slice, cuts it in half and gives us each a sample. It's gottsa be triple smoked, it's ridiculously sweet and strong. "8 slices," I say and Jase says "or maybe 10" and the butcher looks at me and says "Ahem... we have to take the highest bidder," with a cheeky grin. I am excited, starting to jump up and down or jog on the spot or something, probably embarassing myself but not caring. I am unashamed. I am a meat lover in heaven. And I'm building to a crescendo.

Next on the list, "Brawn!" we call in unison. 8 slices of big beautiful, gelatinous brawn; made with pork and beef, cured in its own natural gelatine. Oooooo-ooohhhhh. "What's that?" I ask, pointing to a delightful loaf. I forgot now what it's called, but the butcher explained that the chopped up bits of meat and gelatinous fat are packed into a belly of pork which has been sliced lengthways, so the fat and rind of the pork run along the top and the meat of the pork belly along the bottom. 6 slices thank you. My eyes are sparkling and I am panting again. I notice the jerky hanging up in little bags but what really excites me is some very dried cabana, very spicy and strong flavoured. A couple of those, thank you very much.

Ooo! Smoked chicken, blimey, almost forgot you - 1/2 a chook thank you. Mmmm smells amazing. The butcher is having the time of his life by now, really enjoying our excitement. He continues to entice us with samples, even of things we have already bought. At one point he remarks that he "likes customers that get this excited."

But now I ask for the thing I have been waiting for.... and I awkwardly say "Blood! I need blood! Blood pudding!" "ahh yes," says the butcher, "we call it rice pudding, because our blood pudding has rice in it. Would you care to have some leberwurst as well, it's been double smoked." Yes, one sausage of each thank you. Then I notcie sauerkraut! "Of course we make sauerkraut!" says the butcher. Derr.... yes, one tub please.

"Now," says the butcher, "Are you travelling with this lot?" We explain we are in a caravan but it has a good fridge. Regardless, this lovely man halves the really soft stuff and makes little vaccuum packs for us, to extend the life of our wares. How lovely!

I grab the camera, knowing I look ridiculous, but past caring, and the butcher says quickly, "Oops, I'll just dash out of the shot," and scurries away... for about 1/2 a second, before returning and humbly allowing his photo to be taken. He then takes our photo. By now we are weighed down with a delightful array of smoked goods from one of Australia's best German butchers and all I want to do is scurry off before I get caught and it all gets confiscated or something, it feels so good it must be naughty.

By the time we get home our arms are falling off and we are dying of thirst for more wine, and we sit... and indulge. This experience is unforgettable.

If you ever come to Adelaide and you have the means to get to the Barossa..... pleeeeeease drop by Linke's and indulge yourself. This is a must-do. Not negotiable.